Maverick and Company

A few weeks ago I received an email invitation to a launch party for a BNI group.  BNI, Business Networking International, is a great organization with lots of chapters all over the world, and oodles of dedicated members who pass millions of referrals.  In general they do a great job of providing businesses and sales people with good training and a good set-up to build relationships with new referral sources.  In general, I am a fan. Specifically, the series of interactions I had with the person inviting me were a case study in how NOT to invite people to events you’d actually like them to attend.  Which brings us back to that first email. 

1. It was a generic email…which is NOT a problem.  It contained NO personal reference at ALL which IS a problem.  Primarily this is a problem because I had no idea who the person sending the email was.  I meet lots of people and maybe everyone else on her list knew her name immediately but I did not.
2. I received a second email about a week later. Good on the follow up, again bad because I didn’t want the email to begin with, had no idea who was sending it or how I might have met them and therefor the series of communications is now, technically, SPAM.
3. I write a very polite, very nice response letting the sending know I had been a member of a BNI chapter a few years ago and was not currently interested.  I also said I couldn’t remember how we had met and asked her to please remove me from her mailing list.  I added that I wished her great success with her new group. SHE NEVER RESPONDED. This was her big chance to actually communicate with me, build a relationship with me.  She could have apologized, asked questions, asked if there was anyone else I’d like to send, never explained how we knew each other…nothing.
4. Today, the coup de grace. I receive a phone call from a person who sounds like they’re two minutes away from falling asleep or comitting suicide who tells me she’s with a company that sent me an invitation to a BNI meeting.  She could not be LESS enthusiastic about talking to me or her group.  Worse than going thru the motions, she actually sounds like she’s so bored she’s in pain.  I politely inform her that I had received a couple of emails, one of which I’d responded to saying I was formerly a member and not interested in joining at this time.  She then says, “O.k. thanks,” AND HANGS UP. I know we’re all guilty of skipping a couple of steps in the interest of saving time but a couple of hints: 1. As email has become more and more widely USED, it has become more and more widely ABUSED which leads to less use.  A mass email used to have some pull, not anymore.  Any communication will go a LOT further if you can be specific, talk directly to me and at least fill in any missing information about how we know each other.  Adding a detail or two to a generic email means that yes, you sent a generic email but you also gave enough of a damn to tweak it for ME.  The least I can do is read it for you. I once watched an insurance salesman send out 500 personally signed Christmas cards, not a single one of which contained a personal message.  Better strategy, send out 50 with a personal note.  They’ll actually get read, you’ll actually forward those relationships and you’ll save at least one tree and and a bunch of stamps. 2. Respond to any response communication. It’s an opening you worked hard to create, make sure you USE it. 3. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, at least be interested in your own invitation!  If you don’t care, why should I?  You don’t have to jump up and down like a cheerleader on speed, but you could at least be interested in talking to me, somewhat happy, excited about your own event, your life, your phone, the possibility of caffeine in your future.  Sound alive…please.

Invitations are powerful tools for building relationships.  Even if people don’t accept them, it’s a real reason to be in touch, to communicate their value to you, to be on the lookout for what might benefit them…all things that help solidify their connection to you. As with all powerful things however, you must use your power for good and not evil.  Used carelessly, a badly made invitation can do a lot of damage to your relationships and reputation. Invite well and prosper.